"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."

--Winston Churchill

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Other Slice




{skirt: H&M; top: Xhileration for Target; belt: H&M; tights: Target; shoes: Payless}

Did you guys miss my face or what? I honestly think I just get tired of myself sometimes and as much as I love fashion and looking at other bloggers' outfit posts, I don't always feel like sharing my daily look with the blogesphere. Call it laziness, insecurity--anything you want but there you have it. So I've been pondering, what can I do with my blog to help me grow as a person? I want it to be about the little and the large things at the same time. So I thought I'd start by acknowledging my proud moments when they occur, whether big or small (and most of the time they are the latter). Most of these proud moments won't make any sense to those who haven't struggled with an eating disorder or who simply aren't an incredibly awkward dork like me. Today's proud moment (other than being published on Good Women Project of course): Making a sandwich for dinner. I warned ya, a lot of my proud moments won't be that exciting to most of you but simply making a sandwich was big for me. Let me tell you why. Carbs had been my enemy since before my eating disorder really started. They were the first thing I cut out of my diet when I wanted to drop some pounds and from then on I had avoided them like the plague. The only grain-like substance I would ever allow myself were plain rice cakes which as we all know is like eating air. So, even though I now allow myself a healthy dosage of mostly gluten free carbs, I still have a hard time eating a full sandwich as opposed to a face up sandwich. This is just leftover eating disorder mindset that bread is bad (even though I would have ended up snacking on crackers or something later to make up for that missing slice). So instead of piling my toppings on a single slice of bread as I usually do, tonight I decided to take that extra step and give myself the other slice that actually makes it a sandwich. Let me tell ya (as if you didn't already know but please, indulge me), not only does it make everything a lot easier and less messy, but it was just simply delicious. Now I remember why people add the other slice. It just completes the whole meal. I savored every bite as if I were eating a sandwich for the first time. Most of the time I relish these little accomplishments to myself but then I realized I don't have to. I can share them with you guys! For me, it's often the simple every day things that most people wouldn't think twice about that when I accomplish, make my day. I guess that's the good thing about being in recovery. You learn to appreciate the simple things. Who would have thought that eating a sandwich would be so exciting? I bet you didn't.

1 comment:

  1. I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU! Seriously proud. One proud mama right here. Also? Your second half of that article today made me cry. Tears in my morning coffee. Love you!