For the Days When You Feel Defeated

{Top: H&M via resale store; Cardigan: Target; Jeans: Hudson via Nordstrom Rack; Belt: H&M; Shoes: Cole Haan}

"I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it, and chair committees, and write thank you notes, and I can't feel bad about that." --Carrie Bradshaw

Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel defeated? You can't put your finger on the reason why, but you feel completely deflated and icky about yourself. You wish you could just fast forward the day till you're back home in your pjs and don't need to face the world again till the sun comes out again tomorrow? Well I have had plenty of those days. Too many to count. Unfortunately, I am realizing that many many girls and women feel this way far too often and as I am learning in the fantastic book Captivating, it is often because we women put too much pressure on ourselves. I wish there was a way I could make us all (including myself) believe that we're beautiful and wonderful just the way we are but I can prescribe a few select things to brighten your day and hopefully help you see and know how incredible you really are. Of course I had to include our girls from Sex and the City. What would this post be without them?

Read: Captivating

I can't believe I've waited till I'm 23 to read this book. I've only read four chapters and it's already changing my life and helping me learn so much about myself and why women strive so hard to be perfect all the time. The quote below is just a small taste of the powerful words that reach to the core of every woman who reads it.

"Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us – whether from a driven culture or a driven church – is try harder."
— Stasi Eldredge (Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul)

Watch:

Glee season 1, Episode 16 "Home"

There is a scene in this episode that brought me to tears. If you've never seen the show, Mercedes is normally a confidant diva with curves. Her voice could move mountains and she has the hugest heart. Quinn is the beautiful blonde b**** cheerleader who gets knocked up early in the show and her world is consequently turned upside down. When Mercedes tries out for the Cheerios (the cheerleading team) she is knocked down by the incessantly mean spirited Sue Sylvester who tells her she needs to lose weight in order to join. All of a sudden Mercedes becomes incredibly focused on her weight to the point of becoming so hungry she starts picturing everyone she sees as giant food items. After she faints in the cafeteria from sheer hunger, she is sent to the nurse's office and what happens here is incredibly touching. This is still my favorite scene in the entire show and is a must watch even if you don't watch the show. I won't ruin it all for you but let me just say that a bonding moment happens between Mercedes and Quinn over body image insecurities. The end of the show features another chill inducing scene with Mercedes giving her powerful rendition of "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera and inspires the whole gym (with the exception of Sue Sylvester) to join in the anthem. I get chills just thinking about it.

Sex and the City--Season 3, Episode 3--"Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman"

I love this episode. Charlotte feels uncomfortable getting naked in the steam shower with all the other women because she thinks they're judging her imperfect body. Carrie tries to convince her this is not the case but is dealing with her own insecurities after running into Big's new wife. Both women overcome (or at least take the first step to overcoming) their insecurities in the end which makes this episode one of my favorites ever.

Listen:

Firework--Katy Perry

"You don't have to feel like a waste of space

You're original, cannot be replaced

If you only knew what the future holds

After a hurricane comes a rainbow"

Pearl--Katy Perry

But I woke up and grew strong and I can still go on

"And No one can take my pearl

You don’t have to be a shell No

You’re the one that rules your world Ohh

You are strong and you’ll learn

That you can still go on

And you’ll always be a pearl

She is unstoppable"

F***ing Perfect--Pink (edited version)

"It's enough

I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons

I've seen you do the same

Pretty, pretty please

Don't you ever, ever feel

Like you're less than

Less than perfect

Beautiful--Christina Aguilera (though I prefer the Glee version)

"Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say

Words can't bring you down, oh no

You are beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no

So don't you bring me down today"

As you can see by this messy post, I'm not the expert blogger I wish I was, so I apologize for its appearance. But hey, maybe that's representational to the theme of today's post--beauty isn't in perfection, but in being secure in who we are. Can I get an amen?!